with Tara Maxa.

How was the transition from the first pregnancy to the second, the third, and the fourth?

In this video, Dr. Tara Maxa, MSN, RN, RNC-OB, C-EFM, CNE, RNC-IAP, CHSE, discusses her personal experience with Post-partum Depression.

Transcript

My name is Tara Maxa and I am an RN, but I’m also an MSN. I teach nursing students at the School of Nursing for Texas A&M, but I’m also by trade a labor and delivery nurse and I have practiced for about 12 1/2 years now.

How was the transition from the first pregnancy to the second, the third, and the fourth?

Thank you for asking because I do feel like this topic is not talked a lot about or talked enough about, and for me personally, I do have four children and when we had our first little girl, the feelings that I had, I was very worried. I was very anxious. I couldn’t sleep because I was worried about her. But I didn’t identify that as depression. I just thought that was normal or I just thought it was something I was going through. When we had our second baby, which was less than two years later, I noticed that those symptoms came back and they were a little bit more pronounced. I was not wanting to sleep. I was always worried about the baby. I, you know, there was a certain time at night, usually, you know, 5:00 or 6:00 PM in the evening that I would just get this really bad feeling, this feeling of dread, this feeling of grief, couldn’t really identify it, but I knew that it was going to happen every night. And it just kept happening. So, after a couple of months, those feelings started to go away and you know, I took care of my babies, stayed busy with that, but didn’t really identify it as a problem at that time. 

Now, in between my second and third, I went to nursing school and we talked about depression and we talked about anxiety and I realized that I was showing some of those symptoms but couldn’t identify them at the time. When I had my third baby, I started to have some of those feelings of anxiety and depression towards the end of my pregnancy and I was very worried about the baby. Those feelings that I had with my previous started to come back and they, again. were more profound. So every time you have a baby, these symptoms of anxiety and depression are going to get more intense with each pregnancy. So I went ahead and talked to my provider after delivery and said, you know, I’m feeling very bad. I feel sad. I’m worried about the baby all the time. I don’t wanna eat, I don’t want to shower. I don’t really want to take care of myself. All I want to do is take care of this baby and I don’t want anybody to help me. So she said it sounded like I was having depression and some anxiety and so she went ahead and prescribed me an antidepressant. 

So after I started taking the antidepressant I, you know, those medications can take a couple weeks to kind of start working. So I would say by about four to five months is when I really started to feel a lot better on the medication. I wasn’t worrying about the baby as much and I was getting back to my normal self. So when we decided to have our 4th baby, I knew those feelings were going to come back and I was very worried about those feelings. That actually gave me some anxiety to know that I was about to go through this very big change and have those feelings again. So I went ahead and talked to my provider and I was started on an antidepressant my third trimester, about 36 weeks before I delivered so that the medicine could get in my system and then hopefully help with some of those feelings after the baby was born. Unfortunately, the feelings came back very strong. I was in the hospital with them and I’m very thankful that I was started on the medication early because I don’t know how bad those feelings would have gotten without the medication. But, I would say it took me about a year to start feeling myself again after everything. 

As far as the transition, as far as maternal anxiety and depression, I would say the symptoms became more pronounced, but I was able to identify them more with my third and fourth pregnancy. And I also recognize what I needed in that time to help me get through those things. I think with my first and my second. I didn’t want to talk about it. I couldn’t identify it. But I also realized that I was feeling very different than what most, or what people tell you you’re supposed to feel like, right? So you are supposed to be happy, and you’re supposed to be excited about this baby. But I was feeling quite the opposite. And so I felt like I was doing something wrong. That was not something I wanted to talk about. That was not something I wanted to share. I was embarrassed. And I kind of wanted to know what was wrong with me that I wasn’t excited.

Now, absolutely I loved my babies, adored my babies, but I still had this feeling that just kind of loomed. So when I went into my third and my fourth, I was more aware. And I wanted to make sure that I talked to my family and my support to make sure that they were there for me when I was going through this. You know, the first two pregnancies, it was very hard to let people in. But then I realized that that was exactly what I needed to do. So my husband was a great support person getting my health provider, you know, to let her know that I needed extra help. And that was OK and I had to, you know, give myself a break, that it’s OK to ask for help, which it can be very hard for a new mom to do.